The New “Whip”

Whip: “Slang for an expensive vehicle, car, automobile. Typically used in the hip hop culture.” – Urban Dictionary


Like the looks of this baby? Me too. It’s Maple 4’s new 15-passenger (15P) van and it’s pretty sweet. All vinyl interior, auxiliary cable input to play your iPod, power locking doors and windows with alarm-enabled keychain, double-angle side view mirrors, electronic tire pressure gauge, and a cherry red paint job. Greg says he even wants to hook it up with some used 26” rims off Craigslist. (Is there a policy against this?) I’ve got to tell you I’m pretty excited, as I have been rallying to get our team a new vehicle since we reached 71,400 miles on the odometer of our previous 15P. This bad boy has just over 140 miles and is a 2011 model! I feel spoiled. However, getting this new van is definitely justifiable, as we’re about to drive 10 hours to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula tomorrow and need to make sure we don’t break down on the side of the road along the way. The only dilemma is deciding on a good nickname. Suggestions so far include Red Lightning, Steve McQueen’s Speed Machine, and Clifford the Big Red Van (Cliff or Big Red for short). What do you guys think? Any ideas? We couldn’t really get a nickname to stick to our old van, so this is a chance to start afresh and show this government vehicle that it’s loved and appreciated. Post your ideas in the comments section. As for this guy, well, R.I.P. man.


We had a good run. Your paint-covered upholstery, uncomfortable seatbelts, lack of shocks, and mind-boggling blind spots will become a thing of legend. May you be sent to the happy place where vans go to die…or be sold for use at airport hotel. Godspeed.